Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize