its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
