Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
