My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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