how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
