just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize