i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm having to shit out rocks
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