I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
