I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
