i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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