Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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