Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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