Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize