Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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