WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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