Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
