Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
