Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
