You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
