you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
