I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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