i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
