I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize