So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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