Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
