dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
God I need to hump something, right now.
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