No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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