went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
