There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
