Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
