I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
