I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
