I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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