apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
