oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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