if i can run in heels then i can drive
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
