New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
