what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
