I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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