She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
