I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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