White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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