we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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