bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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