so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
