he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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