Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Sober January is a disaster.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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