So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
