I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
We named our party play list daddy issues
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
