my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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