Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
