You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
