I love watching others lives come down to our level.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
