the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize