Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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