forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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