The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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