we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
