he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
he high fived his dick after we had sex
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
