i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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