Jerry, you need to find god
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
