I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
