It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
