theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize