Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
