they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
