Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
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