If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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