I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
