At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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