How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
