weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
