It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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