Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
