Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
