Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
