I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Screwed.edu
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
