just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
