he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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